Day 4 with Mark Robberds - Reflection on my practice

This year my practice has completely improved and is totally different from the practice I was doing 10 months ago.

I have been, and still is, lucky enough to practice under the guidance of two great Ashtangis which are Iain Grysak and Mark Robberds.

They have similar life experience and their approach of Ashtanga Yoga does not differ. 

I have a huge respect for all other teachers that I have met such as John Scott and David Swenson but to the question "who is your teacher" I will definitely reply Iain Grysak and Mark Robberds and from now on I will stop to run after Ashtanga workshops from others teachers and will continue to practice as much as I can with Iain Grysak and Mark Robberds.

On February when I came to Ubud to practice with Iain Grysak I was in an hurry to learn and practice, I wanted him to give me asana, my priority was to move on even though I was not ready for it, my expectation was to be feed from the asana. It did not happen. On the contrary I realised many things during this month. I thought I was well balanced, positive and focused. I was not.

My breathing was on/off, my practice was not smooth and relaxe because my mind was not stable. With Iain I learned the patience and realised after all there was no emergency to move forward into the series. To my big consternation I realised I was judgemental by comparing myself to others who were going further into their asana while I was stuck at my infamous Supta Kurmasana.

And it really hit me into my face! As a matter of fact I got sick as my body was in need to process all of this new events.

When I cam back on April and May to Iain Grysak I was more stable and my practice changed drastically.

Now I am practicing with Mark Robberds and I have absolutely no rush to move forward into my practice. I have a slow practice, to do the full Primary takes me at least 1h45 minutes, sometimes 2 hours and even thought I have started to work the drop back I am not requesting it at all. I do it slowly on my own rythme, I don't even try to go down completely as I know I can not come back on my own, I understand my limitations and I completely accept them.

Mark does more adjustments but they are very soft, he does not push at all.

Both are talking the same about the practice, sometimes you improve one asana and on the same day you loose another one because it is a process, the body need to print the movement into the muscular fiber creating a body map. 

Creating more space into the body will definitely have an effect on our posture, the more you practice back bending the more hips opening you will have but the more you practiced all hand stand position the less opening shoulders you will get. There is a need to find a balance into the practice, by finding it we will be able to balance ourself and to keep a steady mind.

Accepting the changes is also very important, one morning your practice will be awesome and the very next the practice will be absolutely awful, but it should not stop you to come on the mat because nothing is permanent, the same way the ocean is having high and low tide our body is having good and bad day.

- Namaste from Canggu -

Week 1.... already done!!!

I was almost counting the day in Thailand and here in Ubud time is flying....

This morning was a led class and the shala was completely packed, 28 students or more, we had to add a row and I was slighting putting my mat backward and the lady behind me was very unhappy and almost shout "oh no, not here or you will be jumping on me!....".... well I ignored her and did not jump on her during the full practice which was good ;-) however I almost "eat" her feet while she was dismounting Matsyasana....

Practice was good, it was really nice to follow the count and to let it go. Therefore I cheated a lot for most of jump back and jump front and almost broke my left fingers while jumping into Bhujapidasana as I was too close from the wall..... I just felt and Iain asked me if I was okay which I was so just continuing the practice and did a really really nasty Kurmasana.

My left hand is painful now and a bruise will be showing pretty soon.... when I felt my left index completely bend on the opposite direction (toward the top of my hand) but curiously it seems that it is okay.

Tomorrow is a day off.

During my breakfast I saw for the first time of my life a flying lizard!

He was flying from tree to tree. This small guy was really impressive.

In Bali the life is quite cool and lazy, it is really a Eat, Love and personnally Read as I do not pray.....

- Namaste -

More pelvis to the practice....

This morning I spent more time working more from my pelvis. In Utanasana I used to slightly micro bend my knees while bending forward. Same for Padanghustasana and Padahastasana. This morning I try not.

I was remembering Iain asking me to strengthen my legs while bending forward.

The feeling I had was completely different, I felt by lengthening my legs I had more movement into my pelvis. I usually micro bend my legs in order to protect my lower back and to keep my chest to the thighs but by doing the micro bending I realised that I might be probably locking my pelvis.

So all my practice was focused on my pelvis.

And it does change the practice. For the jumping front my movement came directly from my pelvis, bringing the siting bones up, I tried to do the same for the jumping back keeping my legs completely straight, it was harder but not impossible.

I do believe that by micro bending my knees while bending forward did not allow the flexibility I am looking for to my pelvis. I have to change the habit and to renew my practice once again.

Practice is not still and can not be, it has to evolve and it is a daily progress and process :-)

It was a full 2 hours practice with all vinyasas. The beginning was hard, really hard but then my breathing was more focused and so do I.

Still enjoying it.

A slow and awesome practice!

Yesterday I did my practice outside even though it was raining.... not a good practice but I managed.

This morning I started my practice outside, then the rain came, and took the decision to practice inside. And to my big surprise I was more focused, slower in my movement, in my breathing and in the end it was one of the best practice I ever done since I am in Thailand.

Full vinyasa practice from Dandasana, did not feel any pain, as more vinyasa were coming my body felt alive, did not really push in any asana, on the contrary I practiced all of them very slowly and after 2 full hours of practice was in my Shavasana a big smile on my face.

My yoga mat is finally doing his job, it is not slippery at all and today I did not use the yoga blanket, I was sweating like hell but as my mat was really fixed and helped me a lot for more stability I did not feel any reason to use the yoga blanket at all and it was great, specially for the backbend.

Urdhva Dhanurasana is still very hard to do, I have two choices, one keeping my arms down and grabbing the yoga mat on the side while I am lifting up my pelvis, stretching my legs and rolling on my head.

Second choice and harder is to bring my cross arms on my chest.... in this case can not really extend my lower back, legs can not stretch completely and forcing too much on the cervicales. So right now I am doing the first option.... hoping one day I will be able to do it perfectly.

Ah perfection! Actually I stopped to look for it. I do agree that my jump front are getting better (only for the standing postures) but the jumps back are still relatively pathetic, then I do what I can do, sometimes repeating the jump back before doing the next asana but in general I do accept that I will not become a "jumper ashtangi", it won't be me, I am not from that family.

I am just a dedicated Ashtangi doing her best!

Day 4 - Intense practice

Today my practice was slower, I worked a lot with my breathing trying to feel Mula Bandha during all asanas and working a lot on my jump back and jump front.

As a result I was completely tired after it.

Iain helped me to grab my hands in Supta Kurmasana and I do believe that I am getting closer to have it. I should not have any expectation.

It is a funny day, I don't know how to explain, something is happening from the inside and I do believe this is a good thing. Sometimes you just need to let it happens and not only surrender to your practice but also surrender to the Universe.

Day 3 - Creating a relationship with the practice

In the afternoon there is pranayama session and discussion group.

Iain said yesterday that we should be able to have a relationship with our practice instead of having it through the teacher. The commitment toward the practice is the commitment toward ourself. If you are practicing fast you are probably running away from something, from yourself. The practice should be the reflection of the relationship toward our own body, mind, ourself.

Having a relationship with our practice, such a beautiful sentence. I never thought of it like this and it is so true.

This morning during the practice a lady just burst into tears while doing Parshvotanasana. It remind all of us the power of the practice, the power of the breathing and furthermore the power of let it go.

As per Iain if you are stuck into an a asana it is because you are not ready to let it go, you are not trusting your practice and so yourself.

Not to remind that I am stuck with Supta Kurmasana. This morning I had bad thoughts during my practice. I've seen 2 men practicing without any flexibility, not really biding in Marychasana D and practicing the full series. I thought why? Why not me? 

Back from my practice and typing the blog now I am thinking "Why I am still having this kind of thoughts? Why still comparing me to others when I should just practice and take care of what is happening on my mat!!!!"......

Right now I will define my relationship with my practice unstable, sometimes I like it when I do the all series and other time I am frustrating because I am stuck with one asana....

I still need to grow.....

My best Guru so far is Myself!

So far I haven't find "my" teacher. I can not consider Sharat as my teacher as I don't know him and have been practicing with him for only 10 weeks. I will say that I am my own Guru and my own teacher. My yoga mat is calling each morning and I have to admit that I am reaching a very comfortable practice without any pain and a lot of improvement.

This morning was a blissful practice, my nose was blocked so I started all Suraya Namaskara breathing from the mouth.

All asanas are coming easily and flowing. My asana practice last for 1.25 hour. Then I did 15 minutes of Pranayama but with a running nose I did not really enjoy it.

Still I can not grab in Supta Kurmasana but for the rest everything is just fine.

I am not looking for a Guru, I am just looking for practice with different teachers. 

Pathetic practice

Well it started well.... at 4.30 AM I was on my mat... but then my body did not want to follow my will.... I still did the practice without pushing anything. The yesterday full moon did not help me at all this morning.

But that is the beautiful thing about the practice, each day is different, each time my body is different and all the time a new journey toward my yoga practice is starting. In the end it is very positive as I am discovering myself a little more.

Continue the practice and it all comes!

- Namaste -

Marichyasana D without any help - big step forward into my practice!

The shala is sooooo busy. I have to wait one hour before practicing. Sharat told us to shorten our breathing because students were waiting outside. Without any respect I did understand that the shala has been overbooked for the season, he is dealing quite pretty good so far, so I think they should accept less students but they should not ask us to fasten our practice just because students are waiting outside. We are all waiting outside, sometimes for more than one hour, we are waiting because we want to practice with Sharat and we want to practice the best as we can. 

Already the led class are just awful so do not ask us to compromise our Mysore class, if so then there is absolutely no reason to come here and practice if we have to perform the Primary Series, or the Intermediate or the Secondary Series in less than one hour.....

Back to my personal practice, I am very happy as I managed today to do my Marichyasana D alone, did not ask any assistance. I was watching how the 2 practitioners closed to me were doing and realise that the sitbone of the leg with the foot on the mat was completely up, but really up, so I did the same and damned it was easier on both side. Basically there is no alignment in Marichyasana D. The pelvis is not square at all, it is a twist with an "unaligned" pelvis. Then if you can manage the twisting in Marichyasana C you  will be able to manage Marichyasana D.

I also noticed the position of the foot (from the leg going in Ardha Padmasana), actually the foot has to be place slightly below the groin, not in the groin and certainly not above the groin so it is a pure inversion of the ankle.

If you try to put the foot toward the belly button then it won't work at all therefore there is no "comfortability" for the ankle, it can become painful in the joint but the pain can be avoid if you keep squeezing your knee toward the foot that is on the mat (so basically you will be using the hamstrings muscles of the bending leg). Not sure if I am clear about my explanation but it is how it worked for me today.

At the end of Supta Kurmasana I did a vinyasa rolled my mat and was about to leave the shala for the closing series in the changing room when Sharat asked me "where did u stop?" me: "Supta Kurmasana", Sharat: "you catch?", me: "no, I don't catch", Sharat: "You will do with me"....

So I suppose that tomorrow he will adjust my Supta Kurmasana in order for me to move forward the series.... however I am not sure he will remember so as of tomorrow I will go to the practice without any expectation.

On another note the acupuncture is making miracle to my body, don't know how to explain but I feel really good.

Looking forward to my tomorrow practice even though I am enjoying each minute of the day ;-)

- Namaste - 

Rockin' my Kurmasana

I have a new schedule. Practice is at 7.00 AM, therefore I have to be there by 6.30 AM and wait for almost one hour before entering the shala....

I practiced very slow and did 12 Sun Salutations.

Standing postures are getting easier, no real struggle with them. Sitting postures as well until I reach the Marichyasana D.... and today could not do it on my own at all.... It seems that I am losing it, I don't understand....

However my Kurmasana was absolutely beautiful, total flat back, chin on the mat, head at the same level of my feet, could not believe it myself, easy and really relaxing pose.

My practice last for 1h30 and now I am going to my cupping therapy. I need to rebalance my chi, left side versus right side so cupping and acupuncture are now on my schedule.

The more I practice the less I want to talk.... which could become a problem as I am supposed to teach ;-)

Looking forward to my tomorrow practice!

- Namaste -

Do not ask me that question!

Did not go to the led practice yesterday because of my "lady holiday" and also I had a tooth extraction the day before the pain killer made me sleep until 7.30 AM.

Anyway as I do not like the led class it was all good for me!

I went to the conference, each Saturday there is a conference with Sharat. I took the opportunity to ask a question, "THE" question that should not been ask to Sharat during this Conference.... I did not know they were "authorised questions" and forbidden question. Now I know.

My question was: "When are we supposed to practice the full vinyasa between each Asana. And then in Janu Shirshasana why there are only 22 vinyasa as we are not counting the Urdhva Tadasana"....

Sharat: "Where did you read or learn that"?

Me: From John Scott and Gregor Maehle...

Sharat: "DO NOT ASK me this kind of question".

Me: Ok and I sat down....

He was angry. I had absolutely no clues he was having issue with theses questions and during the all so call conference he was saying "If you have to read a book read the Yoga Mala from my Grand Father. Follow the Parampara, one Guru, one student. If you go to other teacher it is because your mind is not calm. The main shala is a pure place, do not come with this kind of question, etc, etc....".

I switched off.

Next time better to give us a guideline of which questions are allowed and which are not.

At the end of it I went to him and told him " I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you by my question, please accept my apologies".

He barely looked at me.

Anyway, this will not change my life.

Of course I did not get any answers to my question and I do believe I won't have any answer from anyone.

Then he also spoke that there were not such a thing called "Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga" but only Ashtanga. He said that all new style of Yoga such as Sivananda Yoga,  Flow Yoga, Flow Ashtanga or Vinyasa he does not agree with this kind of "new style",  almost all students were laughing about it..... while some of them are probably teaching it! It sounded a little bit of hypocrisies to me.

Anyway it was my experience with the "Guru". I don't believe I will ask another question, or maybe we should only ask him to tell us story about his grand father as a student did, it seemed the question was inappropriate but in comparison of mine it was a better question!

As for me I would love to quote Manju Jois:

Sri Manju Jois Ji

• Drop the label: Yoga is not a label you can sell, there is not Ashtanga, Vinyasa, Hot, Hata or Bhakti,..., yoga is simply yoga

• There is no series: "when I learned from my father (Sri Pattabhi Jois) I was taught all asanas. My father never stopped me because I could not do some and neither he mention any first, second or third series."

• Yoga is simple and yoga has to be fun: forget about drishti, bandhas, instructions and all that follow. Just practice and have fun and the breath will coordinate by itself and bandhas engaged. So have fun and all is coming.

No need for drastic changes: if you turn vegan because you do yoga, and then you look sick, then I would recommend to stop doing yoga and start eating again." Let the changes happen spontaneously and over time.

On difference between western and eastern mentality: "asian people do what you teach them without asking. You give an asana or a mantra, they do it and let the benefit arise trough time and devotion. Western people are more analytic, they want to know the meaning of the mantra before chanting it, they want to know what muscles to engage and what is that asana specifically good for, they have no patience of experiencing but they crave ready and fast, empty, answers."

- Namaste -

Rockin' my Marichyasana D - Mysore Practice

Today was a good practice. Now I can confirm that my left side is shorter than my right side. Therefore Marichyasana D on the right side is harder as on the left side I can do it properly.... without any assistance, I was very happy.

I have noticed it before during Uttitha Parshvakonasana, on the right side only my finger tips are touching the floor as on the left side my hand is flat on the mat.

The body is not really painful, I can feel it but there is not such pain as of April where I could not even lengthen my legs anymore for the full month!

I am having the feeling that I am opening some secrets doors into my body, sometime a pain appeared but it is just something has opened, don't know if this a muscle that is lengthening, a joint becoming more open or just a simple gap between 2 different part of my body. I stop thinking about the anatomy, I just practice from the inside to the outside, my main focus is my breathing and how I am using my core to keep my torso up and straight or rounded and lifted.

There is a change happening, I can feel it.

Highly recommended:

http://loveyogaanatomy.com/becoming-animal-using-ashtanga-vinyasa-yoga-and-meditation-as-embodiment-practices-for-the-cultivation-of-organic-intelligence/

- Namaste -

Breathing in certain part of the body is very helpful - Mysore Practice

Starts: 8.45 AM
Ends: 10.10 AM
8 Sun Salutation A for 10 Sun Salutation B.

General Feeling: AWESOME PRACTICE!!!

Yesterday could not go, I had to skip it because of the flu, it was very bad, could not breath at all. I slept a lot and went to bed by 8.30 PM. As a result this morning was awesome, still a bit of a flu but nothing to compare.

I deeply sweat, the shala was sticky, the winter is coming in Mysore which resulting in a lot of rain and humidity, therefore the floor in the shala was sticky, the windows were full of water inside and outside. As soon as I was on my mat after 3 Sun Salutation I was completely wet, even sweating on the front mat.

I have been helped for Uttitha Hasta Padanghustasana, it was nice, I can now do a full split standing up, no pain, just a nice stretch.

Janu Shirshasana C was easier than before, rotation of the ankle without any problem.

Marychasana D has been adjusted, I am grabbing perfectly my hand and can hold the asana for longer breathe, still I can not manage how to do the twist without any help.... don't understand it.... but it will come.

Supta Kurmasana was my limit, can not grab the hands, can not cross the leg properly so directly backbend series and closing series.

It was a beautiful and awesome practice.

I still have the feeling of "wtf am I doing there", while I was waiting my turn to come in I was watching all of the beautiful awesome advanced practitioners and it brings me down... even thought when I was on my mat the energy in the shala is so high that it is bringing me up.

I shall not look and compare myself to others but inside of me, deep inside of me there is the child I was when I was looking for attention from my family and could not get it. Same feeling, not that I want the attention but more that I do not feel myself at my place surrounding by all of these Ashtangis. 

Practicing with Sharat is not an ego booster, practicing with Sharat is more about stepping back/down and learn about humility and how legitimate we are by teaching Yoga. Am I really eligible to teach it to anyone? I should not even ask the question to myself as it will dragging me down....

Better to stay on the feeling about my practice, it was a beautiful and enjoyable practice, can't wait for tomorrow morning!

- Namaste -

First Day of Practice with Sharat Jois - Did I like it??

Today was the first day of my practice "with" Sharat Jois. I arrived at 5.30 AM and been told that I was too late.....  Actually if the led class is at 6.00 AM you should arrive by 5.00 AM to be sure that you will have place in the shala..... if not you will be practicing in the dressing room where I was with 6 others students upstairs and 10 others students downstairs.

So basically it is the war if you want to practice in the big shala with Sarat directly into your sight. Can I then say that I did practice under his guidance? Well kind of, we were just hearing his voice. No one stop us during the practice because no one where looking at us, so in a sense it is cool as we all practice the full series.

Tomorrow there is another led practice so I will be there one hour before it start and see if this time I have the chance to practice in the shala instead of the dressing room.

I like the practice, it was fast because after there was another led class, so it was what I call "Yoga Factory". After 2 minutes of Shavasana you have to leave because others students are coming and no one want to practice in the dressing room so it is the war, a polite war, a yogic war.

Did I like it? Well I don't really know. Actually it was not very different from my personal practice when I am alone in our shala. I did not even see Sharat, when they were no sound in the street we were able to hear him but as soon as someone was going to the toilet or a motorbike driving in the street you could not hear him, so we were doing our personal practice.

What I have notice is the level of practice. Very high! Most of the students are strong and really good practitioners. I do believe that a lot of them are practicing the secondary series. So it is a good boost for me, very stimulating. 

For the rest will see how it will go. I do  believe because of my knee I will be stop during the Marychasana series which is fine for me, I am not in competition and I respect the practice of others.

However it has become a real Yoga Factory. Everyone knows Sharat but I don't think he will be able to remember all of us, we are just westerner passing by for a short time and next month others will come. So as people are judging Yoga School saying that it is Yoga Factory at least in our Yoga School we know our students and we guide them personally.

For now I am taking this as a personal experience and hopefully at one point it will help me to improve my practice, outside of it I do not have any special expectation.

- Namaste -