Tuesday, 14 November 2017
I thank my injuries
This morning while practicing I was grateful to my body.
Thankful to all of my injuries.
Grateful to the pain.
Because my body talked to me. Actually my body is talking to me since I was born but I never ever took time to listen to it.
Was too busy trying to resolve the mess in my brain, complaining about others when I was not happy, reporting my frustration on others, blaming the all world for my unhappiness, comforting myself in my misery.
This year has been really challenging for me. That is the very first time in my all life that I commit myself in to something.
I thought that I had experience while I did not.
I thought that I was really good while I was not.
I thought that I was most of the time right, while it is not true.
On the top of it I thought that I was really happy while it was not the case.
I was missing something maybe someone but I was not complete.
At the end of the journey last October I went back home and stayed with my parents. Then something happened, I did not want to leave the place I always wanted to escape!
I slept upstair with my mother, something that I haven't done since my teenage, and I was very happy about it, reconnected myself to my childhood.
I spoke with my sister after almost 7 years of no talk at all. It was really unexpected.
I also took the decision to move forward from a safe place to an unknown destination.
This process has been a slow process and my body talked to me during the whole procedure.
It starts in Ubud with Iain Grysak when I realised that I was not applying and practicing the Yama and Niyama in my practice, I realised that I had absolutely no relationship with myself neither with my practice. I felt sick....
In Sweden on March I pretty badly injured myself, thorn ligament around the site bone, bruise, blood, could not walk for one day, could not even cross my legs, could not sit, pain all the time, all day long, can not practice any forward fold.
On June with Mark Robberds, could not even have a normal practice because of my injury, had to rethink everything, started a new chapter "Yoga is not a competition, listen to your body"....
Then slowly everything took place, the process is not completely finished but since I am practicing with Sarawasti my practice is almost perfect. So far I had only one day that was actually awful and it was the day after the full moon..... and also I had a lot of disturbance the day before..
This morning I realised that all my injuries came for a reason, it was a necessary step to understand how to practice and how to listen to my body. How to listen and connect with my mind, with myself.
In fact getting older is beneficial.
I have decided to stop dying my hairs and now I am discovering how much white hairs I am having! At the beginning I was "Nooooooooo"..... but now I found it charming, this is me, the real me, without any mask.
Slowly but surely I am growing.
Lots of Love!
- Namaste -